Search For No One, Be True To Yourself Always..

As the sun sets deep in the soul,

As this maimed entity is defouled,

What the heart yearns,

Its master defies,

A captive of ones own desire.

Darkness weds the solitude of night,

Lead by the glow of a lightless candle,

This pseudo chameleon gropes lifelessly,

Lusting to be rid of this oppression,

Longing to escape, this torment of sweet betrayal.

Alas!

The destitute of memoirs left ancient,

The waves of sand engulfing a timeworn anecdote,

Leaves but this pseudo chameleon,

Under the withering foliage, of obscurity.

It craves to forsake this trodden path,

It aches to be devoid of this whirlwind of agony,

It hankers to break free,

From a perpetual camouflage,

A cyclonic amore,

That dangles in the past of its present.

-Tybalt-

Facing reality,

is facing the fact that we can’t always have everything we want in life,

Facing reality,

is like knowing that you’re falling,

But you still try to falp your arms, hoping that you just might fly.

What is the truth in our lives,

When we are all surrounded by deceit and lies… ?

When we mask ourselves in treachery from the world…?

When we build a fort against our fears…?

Coward…!

A coward against raw flesh,

A malingerer drifting in the dark alleys of life,

Fearing the world will shun the skeletal truth away,

Fearing the duskiness of our past, will gloom the brightness of our

future,

Fearing the remains of What we are, Who we are,

And,

Who we Dream of being,

will be incapacitated by the denial in which we are residing in…

-tybalt-

It is a fact that many of us do not portray our true selves. we often hide behind a mask. sometimes, maybe a few masks. we tend to shun away from reality. we try to deny the depth of our beings. we strive to detach our body from soul.

We often walk aimlessly thinking that we do have an aim. we often walk in darkness thinking that a torch is sufficient enough light to guide our dispirited path. we struggle to build a fortress against the world’s fort. we strain to grasp the glimmer behind the shadows of doubt.

We saturate ourselves with so many unnecessary worldly elements, till we appear mechanically superficial to one another. the ostensibility of who we have become, sinks us further, deeper into the vortex of abasement. we plunge, unrealising, uncomprhending, unassuming…

Indeed, we humans, are living in our own "ivory tower" of listlessness…

The lake of its past, portrays the emptiness of its soul,

Dissipating beyond sunsets and sunrises,

In the darkness of the night,

It begs for the moonlight, to shine upon it again,

It begs for the winds that attack this umbra of ruins,

To conserve all that is left within its broken walls.

Plunging deep into a heartless void of ferocity,

It becomes a phantom,

Yearning to unknow,

But, the demons hiding within its ghostly shadow,

Forbids its sanity to forget,

Obscurities of untold enigmas,

Murk its lifeless soul.

It only longs for the flame of fidelity to flare again,

Just once more,

Aye,

To be expelled of all the atrocities, of the waves of life,

To be purged of its demonic routine,

But the paleness of the winter sky does not allow such compassion,

Blowing in brittle breath, this creature is disfigured,

Ridden of all hope,

Isolated of all desire,

To love, to be loved, to be in love.

In the blackness of twilight, it reaches for the wounded moon,

Only to realise, this celestial body,

That lies between existence and nothingness,

Has drawn a cessation to this forbidden love,

This alloyed utopia of Roman spring…

- Tybalt -

Tetes air mata basahi pipiku,
Di saat kita kan berpisah,
Terucapkan janji padamu kasihku,
Takkan kulupakan dirimu.

Begitu beratnya kau lepas diriku,
Sebut namaku jika kau rindukan aku,
Aku akan datang…

Lambaian tanganmu iringi langkahku,
Terbersit tanya di hatiku,
Akankah dirimu kan tetap milikku,
Saat kembali di pelukanku.

Kau kusayang,
Slalu kujaga,
Takkan kulepas selamanya,
Hilangkanlah,
Keraguanmu pada diriku,
Di saat kujauh darimu.

*** Mungkinkan kita kan slalu bersama,
Walau terbentang jarak antara kita,
Biarkan kupeluk erat bayangmu,
Tuk melepaskan semua kerinduanku…

Berjalan lagi lalui hari, warnai hitam putih hidup ini,
Mencoba mencari impi jiwa,
Yang tertidur dalam derasnya,
Sisi dunia yang terus berputar membawa diriku.

Kucoba lagi tuk berbalik menatap jejak yang sempat kuukir,
Namun ternyata aku tertinggal,
Dari langkah-langkah yang berlalu cepat,
Meninggalkan diriku sendiri dalam sunyiku

*** Dan aku tak ingin di sini tanpamu,
    Menanti waktu yang berlalu,
    Membawa ke batas nanti yang kurasa,
    Takkan mungkin kutemui selamanya, tanpa dirimu di sisiku,
    Begitu rupa cobaan kutemui,
   Mencoba menghempasku ke jalan penuh liku,
    Dan kuanggap itu semua,
    Bagian dari cerita hidupku yang takkan berakhir…

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
‘Cause I saw the end before we’d begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what’s mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won’t stop there,
I am here for you if you’d only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you…

I’ve kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I’ve been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can’t break my spirit - it’s my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I’ve seen you cry, I’ve seen you smile.
I’ve watched you sleeping for a while.

I’d spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We’ve had our doubts but now we’re fine,
And I love you, I swear that’s true.
I cannot live without you.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I’m asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I’m kneeling at your feet.

You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I’m so hollow…

…i can’t live without you…

- 1:18 am -

As I walk along the shores of doubt,

the path seems never ending,

the sun sets in my past,

leaving me with imprints of dark shadows,

figures of held mysteries surround the peripheral of my space,

As night creeps in, the demons of my past memories,

The deadly silencer, mastery of my mind, betrays me back,

Till my soul, discreet in its being, yearns to unfold,

The answers to questions untold.

I am weary of this space around me,

Trust not this self-possessed limb of waste,

I fear not the clement air, but the sereneness of the gushing wind,

I am weary of the break of each day, of its rise and its set,

No longer do I walk, but I merely strut with a slowing pace,

As summer has left the season of my life,

Autumn just serves as the venom of dejection,

And all that surrounds the surrealness of life,

Is nothing but empty shadows of a past that follows,

A diminishing soul which yearns not for the morrow…

- Tybalt -

well, christmas and new year is just around the corner. in just a blink of an eye a whole year has passed us by. for those of us who just sat for our SPM examinations,i’m sure we can hardly believe its all over! we always wanted it to be over and done with but now, i have to admit, i miss it all. it feels like an end of an era,the end of something that we were part of. as much as we hated the homework, the revision, and the tension, i believe that deep down, all of us do miss the little details of schooldays.

Each of us will go our own seperate ways from here on. we do not know where we wil end up 20,30 years from hence and honestly that scares me no end. we all have dreams that we want to reach, goals that we want to achieve. And with this new year ahead of us, let us silently make a pledge, a resolution, to be who we want to be, and to make our fantasy reality.

Blessed Christmas And A Grace-filled New Year To All..

life is all a mystery..who are we really? what is life when we find out that we dont really know ourselves.why is it so hard to understand the many things in life? is it because we just don’t want to, because we deny who we really are thus fail to acknowledge our own being? hm, such a challenge to search ourselves. if we cant seem to realise the importance of knowing who we are, why are we trying so hard to know other people? isnt all this a mystery? arent we then a mystery, a puzzle?

some say that life is a maze, where u can, at any time, easily get lost. sometimes you may manage to find your way out. at other times, you just keep on failing and failing and failing until you finally give up and decide to be lost forever.then, even if we have not died mortally, it is said that we have already died emotionally and spiritually.. how sad to be but a mere lifeless body, completely torn from our souls..an utter disgrace to the true meaning of life and of what its worth.

how then, are we going to face the reflection of a faceless mind in the river of life?